Lifestyle | The Importance Of Mental Health.

Normally I don’t talk about too personal subjects on my blog, even though I have a public ‘’social media life’’ I still would like to keep somethings private. However, the subject I’m going to write about is close to my heart. In a good and a bad way.

During my childhood and teens, I lived a normal life, a typical girl who lived through the ups and downs that life threw at me. I felt and still feel blessed because it made me who I am. As I was growing up live kicked me hard and I desperately needed to set back. In 2013 my rock, my everything, my heart, my lovely mother got sick. She suffered majorly with her mental health and physical health. My world stopped, everything in my life stopped. My studies lacked my focus, my hobbies, my social contacts, literally everything. The only ‘’me time’’ I had was going to work for two hours during the workweek. Eventually even that felt oppressive.

Understandably the health of my mother became my priority. My family and me were focused on getting my mother to feel better, to become better. From doctor appointments to visiting the mental health clinic to visiting the hospital and regulating her medicines, that was our focus. Next to it came maintaining our household. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, my little brothers going to school, my father to work and me visiting my college classes depending on who can be home at that moment, so that my mother wouldn’t be alone. Or going only to my exams, which I even didn’t learn for. We all did everything on automatic pilot.

As you can guess, of course there would be a moment in time that my body is going to shut down. It was time to take a good look in my mirror. It was during my current study for Pedagogy that I realised: I need to stop. I started to promise myself that I need to work on myself! I started to work out, started to go out with my sister, grab a coffee with a friend, hang out with my family and do some shopping. You would think that it was a good thing, meanwhile my feelings about the whole situation started to eat me up. Overthinking, being and feeling annoyed about the little things, binge eating or not eating for hours, being irritated, crying without any reason and being angry about everything and everyone became my way of life. I was ignoring the source of my true emotions, literally. That resulted into tumbling at the edge of a burn out. I felt tired all the time! Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I felt gloomy and dejected.

In January 2018 I made an appointment with my doctor after I almost fainted in the middle of an aisle, when I was running for errands. I felt so dizzy that I felt like I was in a washing machine. If I didn’t hold on to the shopping shelf, I probably would kiss the floor. It was my wakeup call! My anxiety went through the roof, questions like: what’s wrong with me? What Happened? Why? Am I sick? I don’t feel good! My body is crushing down! Omg what is wrong! How sick am I! When I told my doctor what my symptoms were, I felt a bit reassurance. My journey to therapy begun.

I was the best decision I made in my life! I truly felt relieved, especially when I chose for group therapy. I met new people, talked, and heard their stories. It was a beautiful experience; it sounds scary to share your story with others. However, I felt understood and didn’t feel alone. My education during this time helped me a lot too. The classes about psychology and the role plays as professional and patient were an eye-opening! Step by step I felt good again. I felt more and more confident about myself. My life went as it should, I was better able to cope with my home situation. Therapy helped me so much that I started with it again just three weeks ago! This time individually; this time it is not about me being on the edge of insanity, it is about me being strong enough to talk about myself and not about my home situation. It is about me figuring out why I handle things my way. It is about getting to know myself even better.

The moral of this long story, seek professional help, any help. It is like the phrase: ‘’you can run but you can’t hide.’’ Once you face it, you’re going to feel such a big confidence in yourself, that you know the true meaning of your existence. When you read this blogpost, I hope that my story is going to be your first step into your journey of working on your mental health. You’re truly not alone!

Fashion | Head Over (Heels) Shoes!

‘’I have enough shoes’’ said no woman ever! It’s a fact that we ladies always say to ourselves ‘’I don’t have this one yet’’ or ‘’it is on sale’’ while we have many from different styles and colours. Don’t forget the many pairs we have from the same style but in different colours! Shoes are like black little dresses, for every occasion we need/have one. Every season needs a new wardrobe well, the same goes for shoes. Right Loves? Spring equals no-more-fuzzy-socks-in-boots attitude, time to wiggle our toes!

As much I enjoy living in the Netherlands I wish I could change the weather with a blink of an eye. During spring the sun comes behind the clouds with the wind chasing after him. We sometime have a beautiful sunny morning that turns into rain and thunder and makes our hair like cotton candy. Even the weather app can fool you. It would be such a bummer when you are wearing open shoes and the rain pours out of the sky right on top of your freshly nail polished toes. Thank god for Oxford shoes! I fell in love with the pink and the black lacquer one. This is what I meant with same style, different colour. I even walk so comfortable with them. What more can I say!

Now, it is obviously that I am a shoe-a-holic. I am having lately a crush on suede/velvet shoes. I wanted a good black loafer and a cute block heels shoes. Making the decision to put the loafer and sandals into the virtual shopping basket was easy made. You can wear the loaders as slippers just by letting the heel parts down. It reminded me of the fluffy slippers from Gucci. I mostly walk on flat shoes because of college and whenever I run for small errands. Sometimes I feel bad for not wearing heels, quite a waste because I have them collecting dust in my closet. With these I am trying to change that. Now I must wait until summer to wiggle my toes in them.

 

 

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Beauty Review | KIKO Milano.

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I’m having Spring vibes with these colourful KIKO eye candy! I fell of course for the nail polish because I have a fling on the colour fuchsia and since I already have blue mascara I wanted to try the colour green, so why not finish it with an emerald green eyeshadow?

This is my first experience with KIKO and I’m hooked! With just one swipe and my nail was covered with the colour. It depends on yourself if you want a thicker layer. I do think that the nail polish bottle has a dull appearance. It is not something special or attractive. You would choose it only because of the colour. If you are into that, go for it! It didn’t stop me either.

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When I swatched the eyeshadow on my pols I’ve noticed that it has a matt pigment. You know me Loves, I do not really like matt make-up but this one looks pretty good. The packaged reminds me a bit of MAC. Black with a transparent opening. I like that the brand name is pressed into the eyeshadow palette. I gives that little extra chic touch.

Green matches brown very well. When I tried the mascara my eye colour stood out. It is very beautiful and different than usual. A Moroccan wedding is therefore a great opportunity to show it off or if you dare to use it during your daily work for that extra sparkle!

What do you think Loves, already in the mood for Spring?